Welcome back to The Preppy Chronicles, this is what I just finished saying to myself. I have missed writing, I have missed the time that I spend with you. The fact of the matter is that I that I have felt dry. I am writing this series because I am going through changes inside, there is a strong wall of resistance to share what I am going through. It is not that the desire isn’t there, it is that I am resisting the change, that is not the truth, I am not wanting the pain of change.
I am reminded of a line from the inaugural speech of Nelson Mandela, (a side note, it truly disturbs me when people use quotes and cite authors that took the quote from someone else. This is one of those quotes often attributed to other people because they use it in a book.) “ And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I am doing new things in my life, and I am a bit afraid that I will lose control and let my light shine. I know that I am making this up as I go, and I am afraid that when the world finds out that I have no idea what I am doing the ride will stop. My greatest fear is that my light will shine, and those around me will see how brilliant it is and shun me because I make them feel small. I know how this sounds, but this is how I think. I know me, I don’t want to become someone who bulldozes over people. The illusion of power is a strong drug.
I tell myself that there is nothing to be afraid of, but I am.
Thank you for listening to me.
I am working on the wrap for the series, but I needed to share this.
Always, Bumby
Please join me over at my sister site The Preppy Chronicles II